{"id":3611,"date":"2013-09-19T10:12:01","date_gmt":"2013-09-19T16:12:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/?p=3611"},"modified":"2013-09-19T10:12:01","modified_gmt":"2013-09-19T16:12:01","slug":"a-new-bio-that-is-not-autobiographical","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/?p=3611","title":{"rendered":"A new bio that is not autobiographical."},"content":{"rendered":"
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The following entry comes to you courtesy of a certain commenter to whom I am related. I take no responsibility for its content, and the opinions contained therein do not reflect those of the management, AKA, mine.<\/p>\n

I am Matthew\u2019s little sister Amy. His \u201cShort, short bio\u201d is keeping me up at night because it\u2019s so BORING! I decided to take the initiative and re-write it for him, because I\u2019m just that kind of person, and he\u2019s busy being a famous author (\u201cdouble book launch\u201d and all that).<\/p>\n

It should go something like this\u2026 Matthew\u2019s ears must have magical powers because he always rubs them for inspiration (and distraction). His childhood was just as rich as any young adult work of fiction. He got spectacular gold rimmed glasses in 6th Grade and compensated in coolness (for the unwelcome addition) by smacking his gum extra loud. Matthew almost became proficient at the piano, but shocked everyone at his last recital (age 14) as he stood up mid-sonata and announced that \u201che quit.\u201d In spite of that very unexpected drama, he has an amazing ear for music and a decent baritone. He sings loudly in the car, but not in the shower. During his younger days, Matthew\u2019s summers were filled with scout camps, catching fire flies, building forts in the front yard, collecting Batman cards, organizing The Monopoly Clue Club, swimming at the lake, and playing \u201cAdventure Games\u201d in the woods behind his house. He carried a long bow with him in those days, and made trouble using a small cannon equipped with real gun powder and fuses given to him by his Uncle.<\/p>\n

Above all, Matthew plays well with others. He is way too charming for his own good. During his adolescence, he dabbled in the fine arts with dreams of becoming a comic book artist or a film director. He enjoys staying up way too late playing computer games with his brother (when he should be writing). He can\u2019t say no to grape Hi Chews, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Grandma Sycamore\u2019s white bread, and maple bars with bacon bits (gross!). His mind is like a magnet for fascinating information, unappreciated by most, but necessary for his craft. Much to the credit and appreciation of his younger sisters, Matthew is extremely well versed in classical romance movies such as (but not limited to) Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, and Random Harvest. He is loved by his nieces and nephews. He has a kind perceptive heart, brilliant mind and ever-growing imagination. Icefall is my favorite book. If you haven\u2019t read it, you should. If you have read it, read it again!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The following entry comes to you courtesy of a certain commenter to whom I am related. I take no responsibility for its content, and the opinions contained therein do not reflect those of the management, AKA, mine.
\nI am Matthew\u2019s little sister Amy. His \u201cShort, short bio\u201d is keeping me up at night because it\u2019s so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1mtjQ-Wf","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3611","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3611"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3611\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3612,"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3611\/revisions\/3612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3611"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3611"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/matthewjkirby.com\/kirbside\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}